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| So things started getting better for me. And then they got worse again.
How come when things get better for me things get worse for everyone else?
Sometimes I sit in my room wondering why or what I did to deserve this.I was always taught to never blame my problems on someone else, so I leaned to blame everything on myself. I blamed my parent’s problems on myself. I blamed my friend’s problems on myself. I felt people’s hate because I didn’t know what else to do with them and their problems. And somewhere along the way I lost myself and I know that now. I don't know what I can do about it. Sometimes I think I'm alone. Sometimes I want to give up and just sit or lay down in a corner with the music turned up and just forget everything. But then I remember I have people that care about me. I have people that I care about. And I keep going. Mac, Christina, Alex, Daniel, and Lindsey are people who keep me going. They are the only reason I can feel good about something. I also have people like Branden and Andrew who can keep me smiling. I have great friends which makes me okay. I want to get away from my family. And why do people always want drama. Talk about someone behind their back? steal someone's money? when i go to school i feel depressed because its all i hear. and i go home to my family problems and I'm sick of it because I always take everything to heart and I don't have much of a heart left because it's constantly being stomped on by my own family. They say theres only one kind of person who can hurt you more than a stranger, and thats your family. And I believe that now. If someone knows something I can do to ignore problems or if anyone knows anyway to where I don't have to feel sad anymore, let me know. Although people are always starting more drama at school there are afew good people there. And when they talk to me I don't know what to say. The only thing I know how to say anymore is "things are going to be okay" If anyone even reads this..
Please pray for her, her 7 year old brother, and her parents. They need all of the prayers they can get. They are little kids, they did nothing to deserve what's happening to them.
"I don't mind being by myself. When I'm in a room with 2 other people I feel like half of myself. When I'm in a room with 3 other people I fell like a quarter of myself. And when I'm in a room filled with a whole bunch of people, I'm not an individual anymore, I'm just apart of the crowd. I haven't decided what I like to be yet, by myself or in a room filled with people. What do you like to be.. alone or nobody?" | | |
| Hey.. I failed my bio exam, so I end the class with a 91%. which means i have to get a 95% next term to get an A in the class, which isn't going to happen. So I'm not in the best mood. Why do they give an exam where the exam class average is failing? So stupid. Anyways, I have A's in all of my other classes which is good I guess. After school today me and christina hung out, that was a good time. I have no other plans for the night, so that sucks. "Who you chose to be around lets you know who you are." | | |
| Hey, today was the last of the exams. Biology wasn't easy. It wasn't hard either. But I don't think I got a 90% or higher, im thinking mid 80's, which means I won't end with an A in the class. I got a 92% on the second part of latin. My final grades so far for this quarter(still waiting on two more): Latin 93.36%
American History 97.99% which will round up to a 98 on report card. I know I will end with above a 95% in Comercial Design, but I don't know what I got for sure yet.(final project is due tomorrow) I will be going to be safe-drivers ed starting april 9th, with mac for $325. If any1 else needs to go to drivers ed and wants to go w/ me.. lemme know soon. My extra curriculars for this year I finally completely over(ski team, mock trial, FHS drama) so I need to find out what I want to do next year. I'm thinking maybe Mish and basketball? What are your thoughts? haha no one reads this so i wont get a response but hey, im laying my thoughts out, easier for me to know what I want to do haha. Well I got nothing else to say.. break starts in two weeks. "Life's simple.. you make choices and don't look back" | | |
| Hey how's life? Yeah, I know no one reads this haha.
I had my history exam today, I'm pretty sure I got a 100%, I might of missed one though.. Latin exam was 2 parts, 1 yesterday, 1 today. Yesterdays I got a 91%, today was was easier but I have no idea what I got on it, I'll find out tomorrow. Hopefully a 95% so I can be sure I have at least a 93% in that class. Biology exam is tomorrow, I'm worried, yep. Haha. I have to get a 90% to keep an A in her class, and that isn't going to happen, I'll probably got like a 70% no joke. So I have to try really really hard next quarter to end with an A in her class. Life is going good. Rough, but good. I'm signing up for driving school this week, I'm not sure where yet, but I'm signing up this week haha. Hopefully with mac. I don't really have anything else to say today so heres a quote. "I kind of made myself an outsider, you know? Without even thinking about it. But I realize now.. outsider or insider, it doesn't really matter. All that matters is knowing what you really want and going after it." | | |
| I saw dead serious about life, it was a good play, I recommend you go see it. Christina's solo's were amazing. Mrs. Robinson pulled me aside after the show and told me things were getting worse, which really makes me feel bad. Please pray for her and her family. Please. After that, mandy came back to my house and ashley came over and studied bio getting ready for that exam haha. I have my latin exam tomorrow, and we have to turn our notebooks in, so I have to do all of the papers in there, which will take me at least 3 hours(I only did chapters 1-3 word studies, did anybody actually do all of them, or go past chapter 6?). Mrs. Harring(bio teacher) really pulled the bitch out last week, and she gave us a whole load of shit tonight to do. Why are they loading us on exam week? Thats bullshit haha. Anyways, life is going okay. I'm feeling a little better, but not great. Mac Foster is my hero, and he's the best friend I got. 
I love that guy.
Grade update: Latin 92%.. uhoh i need to get that up
American History 2 98%
Commercial Design 97%.. finally back up
Biology 93% Quote of the day. "10% of life is what happens to you. The other 90% is how you react to it." | | |
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